22 April 2020 / 8.45pm
I remember that particular night! after I swept the floor and closed the sundry shop, I wanted to discuss with my uncle whether I can move to his house to stay temporary to prepare for my SPM instead of staying in the shop. Sadly, he couldn't make any decision. My aunty wasn't happy at all. They ignored me. I still remember I was in fear and trembling while talking to them. My other aunties (my dad's sisters) couldn't help me except sympathise with my condition. At the end, my uncle and his wife neither agreed or disagreed. Regardless yes or no, I've made my decision to move out. I told them I will still come back to the shop to help up. Hoping they will feel better with my assurance.
My next challenge was how am I going to move all my stuff? None of them offered to help me not even my relatives. But I am grateful that I can move out. Thank God for my mini bicycle. The distant from the shop to the house is about 6km. Everyday after school, I quietly packed my books, foldable mattress, and clothes. Everyday I pickup one or two boxes and tied them at the back of my bicycle. Sometimes I bumped into familiar faces or my friends on the road. I was ashamed of myself, carrying foldable mattress while cycling on the road. No one knew what I was doing. But I never give up. This is the only chance I have. I just have to move on. I really want to move on… I keep cycling. I didn't want to stop… It took me few days to move all my belongings to my uncle's house. My grandma live there.
Until today, I have no idea how I managed to do all this with my mini bicycle.
Sometimes, my uncle or aunty will call me up to go to the shop to help. My aunty, as usual will continue with her unkind words depend on her mood. It's a must to clean her house. Sometimes she will come back and checked. Despite all this, I'm still grateful to them to allow me to stay in their house.
I was very tired. Sometimes, I can't help to hold back my emotions when I was humiliated and teased by my relative because of my dad's failure. I did not fully understand why I have to go through all this pain. My parents forbid me to defend them. All I need is to learn to be patient! I still have relatives who love me but they only know how to sympathise me. :-(
One day, after many years, I decided to share this experience with my mum. As I shared, she was in tears. She has no idea of the pain I've been through. My mum told me she can't sleep every night. She keep thinking of me those years. We were about 600km apart…
One of the reason I keep writing my short story is because of him, Mr Lim, my primary teacher. Coming soon next episode…
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