2May 2020 / 11.59pm
Today I was born anew and my birth place is where there is hope for all. Today my old skin has become dust. For today, I am a new man, who wanted so much to see the world of my profession where there were planted by the wisest of my profession who have come before me, generation to generation.
Finally! I say it again! Finally! I am going to start my first job in advertising agency soon. Such a day to celebrate after graduated. I was very happy yet very nervous. But deep down inside me, I determined to work hard for my dream! I wanted to be a Creative Director like Yasmin Ahmad! (Yeah!…I have a short story about her in my next posting) :-)
I've decided what to buy for myself after I received my first paid cheque! I wanted to buy books! I was influenced by Mr Lim, my primary school teacher. He loved to read. Before I left Sitiawan, he gave me his books. His last word was, "Tau Fei study these book. Don't just read."
First day at work, Sam, my classmate in college was with me. We both joined the same company. We were placed in a small room, more like a store room, next to the toilet and isolated from other designers. It was our first day. So, we walked around, observed how people worked and tried to learn from the seniors. But, no one really care about us.
After a month, we barely have things to do. I wanted to learn computer, but there is no computer for us. Finally, my boss who was also the company's creative director assigned us a project. The project was to trace a deity body and changed the head to another deity's head. So, Sam traced the body. I traced the head. And we combined together. I can't remember how many weeks we continued doing the same thing.
One day he gave us a chance to design a logo. It was a township logo in Seremban, "Taman Rasa Sayang." I was very happy. Finally, we can do a design work. We started to look for inspiration from design reference books (no internet during those days). We worked very hard for the logo design.
Every Monday morning, we will have "work in progress meeting." He wanted us to present our logo design to everyone. After I presented, with a red market, he marked -10% and threw my design away. He wanted me to imitate other people's logo. He doesn't want me to waste time designing. I was heartbroken. My first logo design went into dustbin!
Later, he reassigned this project to our seniors.
Our next project was to design a chocolate box with Malaysian culture. We worked until 11pm every night. No computer for us. We used air brush, water colour, and colour pencil. At the end, he cut off 50% of our claims. We were told our value was RM350.
One Monday morning, our account director came and handed us a letter of retrenchment. We were given an hour to pack our belongings and leave. The boss made sure someone is there to check on us. I felt like a criminal.
We went to the same restaurant where we had our breakfast this morning. Sam and I sat down quietly, trying to digest what was happening. The boss promised to buy each of us a computer to work. But now, we were out of job. It is hard for us to talk about these thing. We remember those promises, and that hurts.
We parted our way…
I was rejected not because I am not good. The point is not to blame anyone. Each rejection has opened up a new window in my heart to understand myself better.
It wasn't a new experience for me. I have been rejected countless of time. I will move on…
I will walk tall among men and they will know me not. Because my worth is in the hand of the Lord!
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